My undergrad is coming to an end, and…I don’t know how to feel about it all.
Side note – To those who are new to the blog, it’s my final semester here at unimelb (Woo! I think.).
Part of me is really excited (and relieved) to be finished. I am so ready to be done. I’ve been counting down the weeks since day 1 of the semester, but as we get closer and closer to the end, this excitement is rapidly turning into fear. Just thinking about the end of undergrad is making me anxious!
With the end around the corner, I am definitely feeling the pressure to ‘sort my life out’ (whatever that means). It often feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be okay and reassure myself that I’m doing just fine.
In 3 weeks time I’ll be done with all my classes, and in 5 weeks, I will be enjoying my free end of exams crepe from Carte (that is, if Carte is continuing with free exam crepes) with a bottle of champagne in the other hand. Then I get to walk down Wilson Hall in my graduation gown in August to receive my very expensive piece of paper, and then…I don’t know…adult life?
I am well and truly neck-deep in this awkward in-between phase of transitioning into the real world. And to be frank, it’s been awful and rather demoralising.
I finally had to pull my ‘big girl’ pants on, and face the dreaded ‘what the hell am I going to do after I graduate?’ question. I was planning to travel for 6 months, live life, and then do Masters in 2016. Travelling for the full 6 months is unfortunately off the cards because this girl’s got limited $$. So instead of travelling, work it is.
Job-hunting is so much fun, said no one ever.
Life has been revolving around job-hunting, and it’s been an exhausting and disheartening process. Luck hasn’t been on my side and the constant rejection really takes a toll on your self-esteem (I’ve been indulging in lots of ice-cream, and eating my insecurities away). But I’ve learned to stop taking job rejections personally, and learned to quickly move on from feeling sorry for myself.
A small and frequent hurdle I’m facing is that I’m going to be a science graduate, and here I am applying for jobs outside of my field (things like social media, comms, education). Sure I may not have the paper that says I’m qualified in that area, but I know I’ve got what it takes. Not having the ‘right’ qualifications has been frustrating, but if there’s a will there’s a way.
I’ve also realised the biggest thing limiting me to job opportunities, is in fact, myself. I’ve been undervaluing myself and steering away from jobs that I feel I’m not qualified to do (even though, I am capable of doing it and have the experience and skills to do it). So it’s a matter of shutting down that little voice at the back of my head that’s telling me I’m inadequate.
It’s also the fact that I’ve been limiting my job search to within unimelb. Melbourne Uni has (sadly) been my life since first year, and I’ve also unknowingly sold my soul to the University when I created this blog. I’ve studied here, I’ve worked here – I know this place inside out, and despite its flaws, I love it here. I want to keep working here and make it an even better place for everyone. But I guess it’s time for me to suck it up, step outside my comfort zone and move on from unimelb.
Although the job-hunt hasn’t been overly successful, a job that’s right for me will turn up, and sometimes it comes down to pure luck and good timing. I just have to keep looking and persist.
The final weeks of semester
Stressing out about life after undergrad is counterintuitive right now, so I’m going to let future Daphane deal with that. For now, the focus now is to smash out these final assignments and to study for exams, but also trying to make the most of the time I have left of undergrad.
Wish me luck!