Just Like This: In Which Uni is Just Like a Collection of Buzzfeed Listicles

Caitlin is a third year Arts student, majoring in Creative Writing and English & Theatre Studies. “Just Like This” is a fortnightly column where she compares university to things that aren’t university.

 

Hello! What a nuts time of semester! Here are some listicles (best word ever or worst word ever? I’m so undecided) about this nuts time of semester!

 

9 Things I Did Instead of This Week’s Readings

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1. Started watching Season 1 of House of Cards

2. Watched some myki inspectors play a nice game of tag with some civilians during their break

3. Bought a t-shirt

4. Made brownies

5. Washed literally all of my clothes, including the clean ones

6. Arranged my books into alphabetical order

7. Finished watching Season 1 of House of Cards

8. Ate brownies

9. Took notes on the graffiti I read on the back of toilet doors

 

5 Types of Melb Uni Toilet Graffiti You Must See Before You Die

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1. Supportive (“U r lovely & u r doing a great job peeing!! <3″)

2. Philosophical (“You are all so afraid of silence because you suffer from compulsive verbosity.”)

3. Cryptic (“I like cats… As a concept”)

4. Political (“Screw the cistern”)

5. Inspirational (“dance like no one is watching; poop like no one is here”)

 

6 Signs Week 9 Has Hit You Like a Ton of Bricks

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1. You fall asleep in the library and develop subsequent paranoia that pictures of you snoring have ended up on strangers’ snapchat stories

2. You have eaten a Snickers bar for breakfast at least once in the last six days

3. You spend twenty minutes doing and redoing your eyeliner; you do the first eye while stressed, the other while apathetic, and the result is catastrophic

4. You bump into your friend Abe; both of you are holding huge cups of caffeine and say nothing but “Ugh, week nine” to each other

5. You say to the stranger sitting next to you on the tram, “Ooh, look, my shirt is inside out”; the stranger is totally disinterested in this fun fact

6. You have eaten a Snickers bar for lunch at least once in the last six days

 

7 Things To Say In Class About A Book You Haven’t Read

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1. “I think this novel is just working on so many levels… It’s so complex that my mind is blown and now I’m physically unable to unpack it.”

2. “Mumble mumble Foucault! Mumble mumble Freud.”

3. “Let’s discuss the way this book was adapted to film. Brad Pitt is in the film. I think that was a safe and aesthetically pleasing casting decision.”

4. “I have the Penguin version. The cover is nice. I left it at home.”

5. “What did everyone do on the weekend?”

6. “I just think we should talk about the application of literary theory more generally? Or books more generally? Or life more generally? Context is so important.”

7. “I have not read this book.”

 

-Caitlin

 

Feature image from Buzzfeed. 

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