STOP 1? More like Stop FUN—Oh God I Didn’t Think That Through

Have you ever had that feeling when you walk into your Student Centre and it isn’t there anymore? I’ll bet you have, because as of January 1 this year, all of Academic Services—as in Student Centres, student administration, the Melbourne Careers Centre, Academic Skills, Student Connect, and more—have physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally co-located into one building/concept: S T O P 1.

So what does this mean for me, the Average Joe student? Where do I go for things?

Here, you silly duffer!

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So they do everything?

Pretty much.

Like course advice?

Definitely

What about transcripts?

Yaaaaas.

What about Academic Skills?

I said that it does everything! It’s like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, but it’s full of something better than chocolate and joy: Academic Services!

But it’s every student in the University getting served in one place! I don’t have time to wait for five hours!

Not gonna happen, friend. It’s smoother than Metamucil down there. There are triaging staff who should serve you within a few minutes, if not straight away. If you need to see a course planner or an admin enquiries officer, they’ll help you get a ticket and you’ll be called soon. Try to avoid going at lunch time though, if you can.

Are you sure they do everything though?

Yes. And if there is a service there they can’t offer, they’ll direct you to the right place.

My cat ate four servings of Thai green fish curry because I left it out on the bench last night. I need to be home when his cat laxatives kick in and I can’t leave the house. Can I still get some help?

Absolutely! Just go here and type in your question.

My question is far too specific for a FAQ, and my cat’s heading for her litterbox. Isn’t there somewhere I can submit my enquiry directly?

Sure thing. Choose a category and submit here.

Isn’t there an email address I can send it to?

Not anymore! We’ve moved to an entirely new enquiry management sys-

Oh god, oh god. I can hear her yowling for me. Can you give me a sec?

Yes?

Sorry about that. Go on.

So, ah, we’ve moved to an entirely new enquiry management system that involves online submissions of enquiries that are sent directly to the appropriate team. Not every department is using it yet, but most enquiries should start there.

That’s cool-as bananas A+ wicked! Can I ask another question?

Eh.

Where did all the Student Centre staff go once Stop 1 opened?

They’re there, friend! The people you will be speaking to on the floor are team members from the Student Centres, which means you might see a friendly face or fifteen.

Ah, I see. What about all the other staff? Are they chained in a basement?

Not quite! Almost all Academic Services has co-located in the very same building where Stop 1 is housed. So instead of being sent on a six-day- long hike across uni to find the answer to a question that involves multiple departments, everyone is one place and can hopefully solve your question much faster.

Love it! So no more bathing in the Reflection Pool on South Lawn and using leaves from the Systems Garden as toilet paper every time I have to ask a question?

Hopefully not, but that’s your journey.

Can you please rap a link that will provide me with any more details I might need?

Absolutely. Can you give me a beat?

H to the T to the T to the P to the S to the FORWARD SLASH to the FORWARD SLASH to the S to the T to the U to the D to the oh god just go to https://students.unimelb.edu.au/stop1

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