Early end to May: Brexit for the rest of us

Nitul Deshpande is a Unimelb Adventures contributor. He is currently pursuing his Masters of Applied Economics at the University of Melbourne. You can follow him on Instagram @nituldeshpande

Image result for theresa may resign

BREXIT! Everyone knows about it, everyone knows how it will affect the EU and the UK and how it’s affected Theresa May (bye, Felicia), but do you know how it will affect you?

You must be thinking ‘ohh, I’m just a wee little student at Unimelb, there’s no way something as big as Brexit will affect me!’ Well now, my wee little Unimelb student, Australia is part of the British Commonwealth, and Britain has been a major player in the Australia-EU relationship, so its exit will have a ripple effect – which will, indeed, affect you!

So now that we’ve clarified that, let’s move on to the next part of this article – How will Brexit affect you? Well, since reality does not matter in politics, ANYTHING can happen! Let’s start with some of the endless possibilities:

  1. The Queen says ‘bugger this’ and leaves the UK behind to come to Australia. Not much will change other than ‘God Save the Queen’ becoming Australia’s national anthem in the place of ‘Advance Australia Fair’, and Unimelb might come up with a short-course for court etiquettes in front of the Queen.
  2. We won’t be able to import any more British tea into Australia. No more Twinnings, Earl Grey, Lipton Iced Tea, Tetley British Blend or Yorkshire Tea Decaffeinated. (#shoutout to the Tea Appreciation Society which will probably have to survive on T2)
  3. Australia becomes a part of the EU (Hey, they let us take part in Eurovision, so this is only one step ahead of that!)
  4. Shifts in tectonic plates cause the UK to geographically move out of the EU (or maybe it’s because of magical alien space bats!)
  5. David Cameron becomes the Prime Minister of Australia (it will be better than switching Prime Ministers every year, though a switch as of a week ago would’ve been much appreciated; looking at you, half of Australia)

Bonus: The Brexit deal will be decided in a game-show hosted by Andrew O’Keefe of the ‘Deal or No Deal’ fame

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